The Problem with Becoming Your Favorite Self (And Why I’m Leaving Colorado)
The problem with living your life as your Favorite Self is that you have to listen to your intuition. The problem with listening to your intuition is that when you know it’s time for change, you can’t ignore it — you have to embrace it, follow it, leap and go.
I’m leaving Denver.
Writing this feels like a vice is wrapping around my heart. Declaring it pulls tears from my eyes. I’m currently sitting in a cafe in the mountain town of Idaho Springs, a small Colorado mountain town. I’m in a coffee shop with Stevie Knicks’s “Go Your Own Way” crooning in my ears. All I can think is that Colorado is where I feel at home. It’s my security blanket.
The mountains called, I came four years ago. But now a new adventure is calling, and I must go.
Crystal Mill, Carbondale, CO. September 5, 2021.
The problem with embracing change is that it takes over every part of your being. It wiggles under your skin, clouds your psyche’s lenses, places coals under your feet, echoes on your ear drums, and pulls at your soul.
Nine months ago, September of 2024, I was on a plane returning from New York City. I'd been visiting one of my best friends in the entire world, Steph, for the weekend. Sitting in the window seat, I felt more alive than I had in months. The United jet was descending into Denver, I was gazing at the mountains I love, light glinting off the perpetually snow capped peaks.
Tears unexpectedly sprang to my eyes. Emotion flooded through me, insistent and demanding. A voice — an inner knowing — whispered to me: "It's time to start saying goodbye."
I was shocked. I love Colorado with cell and atom that exists in my being. Colorado has been my healer and my guide. She is the place I’ve come to find myself since I was nine years old going to sleep away camp for the first time. She is the place I always came back to life.
But I knew quietly, deep down in my bones, that my time here in the Mile High City was starting to come to a close.
The problem with knowing it’s time for change is that you can’t ignore it. If you ignore it, you betray yourself. But the problem with listening is that sometimes you’re left in the cosmic ante chamber. Waiting for your intuition to pick up the phone, indefinitely on hold.
Brooklyn, NY. September 29, 2024.
Three months ago in March of 2025, I looked at my business consultant/intuitive systems wizard/quantum leap mentor, Michelle Pellizzon Lipsitz and whispered into my mic, “I’m bored. I’m like really bored. I’m not sure what isn’t working but it shouldn’t be this hard. The work isn’t sticking. Something’s off. I need change.”
I sat in that hour long confessional and shared the scariest truth of all — I felt out of alignment. I confessed I was uninspired. That I wanted to be more of my Favorite Self. That I didn’t feel currently like her. That I needed better daily structure and systems in my life. That I needed to stop avoiding and over-complicating everything. That I need to just take action.
So we workshopped, and I decided to start playing Bingo with the habits that made me feel like my Favorite Self every day. For every choice I made, decision in my life, I asked myself “What would my Favorite Self do?”
“Change”, I chanted. “I need change. I just want to have a nice time. I just want to enjoy my life. I want to be my Favorite Self.”
So when another one of my best friends, Janelle, invited me to come to New York City for Memorial Day Weekend, I said yes.
The problem with listening to your intuition is that it forces you to get quiet. The problem with getting quiet is that you discover exactly why this change must happen. And once you know why, you can't un-know it. You realize this big life change will solve all your current problems, but it will also give you new ones. It will require you to let go of who you've been to become who you're meant to be. It will require you to transform.
Brooklyn, NY. May 24, 2025.
My first day in NYC in May, I realized I was moving to back to New York City. It was loud. The signs were everywhere. That it was time. Time to leave Denver. Time to embark on the next great adventure.
And with this realization, I freaked out. Wholly and completely lost it. I was overwhelmed, synchronicity and magic was overflowing. It was the answer I’d be looking for. I was terrified and exhilarated at the same time.
A part of me knew this move was coming but I didn’t realize it was coming so soon.
And yet, as I meditated in a sound bath in Brooklyn that weekend, I realized exactly why I had to move. I’d outgrown my Favorite Self in Denver. I’d learned the lessons and had the adventures and it was time for a new one. I realized that next version of my Favorite Self I wanted to become lived in NYC.
Which meant I needed to move across the country. Which meant I needed to leave a life I love behind.
The whole weekend had filled me with alignment, friendships new and old, profound clarity, and life. Then I flew back to Denver and completely melted down again — but this time, I knew why.
The problem with embracing your next Favorite Self is that you have to change — which means walking away from the familiar and comfortable. The transformation starts with small shifts: how you speak, what you think about, who you spend time with, how you structure your day. But small intuitive shifts always turn into big ones, and suddenly you're moving across the country because the Universe gave you a sign and it's your job to listen. You have to listen — because you know not listening will dim your soul — because when you listen, everything you deeply desire arrives in your life.
Straight from my journal.
When I got back to Denver, I tumbled into the five stages of grief. I was over the moon. I was overwhelmed. The clarity had lit the fire of the sun within me. Everything I loved felt like it was burning into ash, slipping through my finger tips. In the last month, I’ve felt the entire spectrum of human emotions all at once. Rage, anger, excitement, joy, bargaining, hyperventilating, pure and utter exhaustion, anxiety, and uncontainable joy.
It’s June 24th when I write this. A month after I realized I was leaving, moving, becoming, transforming. My eyes are puffy from crying. I feel so alive.
The problem with being your Favorite Self is that you are always in a state of transformation. Your favorite things in life are inherently intuitive — you've chosen them independently of what other people think, they make your body feel both calm and on fire with rightness, and they require you to face the unknown. The problem with being your Favorite Self is that it brings you everything you wanted while requiring you to both seize the reins of your life and surrender at the same time. It's form and formless, uncertain and limitless.
"You can do anything!!!” “You can do anything…"
"Anything can happen!!!” “Anything can happen???"
The problem with being your Favorite Self is that it feels profoundly, completely right. It’s the most right thing in the known Universe and beyond. It leads you to dreams you never realized existed, turns your life into a blockbuster hit that sweeps the awards season. The problem with being your Favorite Self is that forces you to transmute your fear and shame so you can break through everything holding you back and truly thrive. And you will. Thrive. More than you can currently imagine.
I'm not leaving Denver and moving back to NYC because I believe NYC will bring me the solutions and missing pieces I'm yearning for in my life (but I do have a feeling becoming my next Favorite Self might).
I’m not leaving Denver because I don’t love Colorado. I found everything in Colorado I ever dreamed of, everything I always wanted — soulmate friendships, a thriving and expansive business, a deeper sense of spiritual purpose, and a version of myself that I love with every aspect of my being.
I didn't make this decision to reinvent, run away, or restart. I made this decision because it feels right and because it’s time to become more of my Favorite Self.
I’m leaving Denver and moving to NYC because the version of myself, my next Favorite Self, the one I want to become, lives in NYC.
I’m leaving Denver on August 31st because I trust my intuition, and I’m evolving.
It’s that’s a wild, magical, and truly beautiful thing.
Over the next couple of weeks (and months), I'm going to share the different ways I came to make this big, life-altering decision. I'll tell you about the hard moments, the messy moments. I'll show you how I'm processing through this decision and how becoming my Favorite Self helped me make and continue to choose it as I navigate logistics of closing one chapter and opening another.
Most importantly, I'll share how you can become your own Favorite Self to uplevel and expand your life — to navigate any change or transition at your doorstep in a way that feels right to you, and to trust your intuition every step of the way.
Feeling the intuitive pull toward your own big leap? Navigating a big transition that feels equally exhilarating and terrifying? Discover 1:1 Favorite Self Coaching with Ashley.
